respect

Engagement Chicken is Ridiculous

by Jamie Sanford on July 5, 2011

The video below is a video chronicling the “engagement chicken” recipe originally posted by Glamour magazine in 2004.

Here’s a quote from the recipe page on Glamour.com:

First comes chicken, then comes marriage? Be skeptical if you must, but this recipe may be charmed. It all began 26 years ago, when then-Glamour fashion editor Kim Bonnell gave the recipe to her assistant, Kathy Suder, who made the chicken for her boyfriend, who, a month later, asked her to marry him. “It’s a meal your wife would make. It got me thinking,” says Jon Suder, who now has three children with Kathy. Details of the simple dish passed from assistant to assistant like a culinary chain letter. When Bonnell heard that her recipe had inspired three weddings, she dubbed it Engagement Chicken.

You have to be kidding me with this, right? Am I wrong to think that most ladies of the marrying age should not currently be interested in getting engaged to a guy who would decide that marrying them is a good idea because of some f**king chicken?

I would not be married to my darling husband if there was a cooking prerequisite.

I have been upset by the so-called “advice” given out in women’s magazines for years.  I remember reading those magazines, but never really took their advice.  I met my husband online back in 2000, moved in with him in 2003, got engaged to him in 2005, and married him in 2006.  I can tell you that our decision to spend our lives together was not about a single meal that we’d shared, but was the result of a successful relationship that turned into a strong partnership over a 5-year period.  It had nothing to do with cooking, at least on my part, because my husband has been the main preparer of food in our household since we started having a household.

Your cooking is not the only reason you are not engaged.

The Alleged Engagement Chicken, Glamour.com

An important part of my relationship with my husband is that we have many social outings without the other present.  Geography plays a part in this to a point, but mostly, we find that we prefer to have separate social time because it lets us come back together and have new things to talk about.

This isn’t a rule, however, and we do sometimes go to social events together.  On more than one occasion, I have been met with shock and surprise by some of the single girls that he interacts with, at the proof of my existence.  After confirming that I am, in fact, real, the next sentence from their mouths tend to be some variant of the following.

“I can’t believe you let him go out without you!”

Oh girly, I hope you don’t sit at home later, wondering why you are single, because it is so obvious.  The reason that my husband and I started talking about getting married sometime is because we both felt like we had found the person who was a perfect match for who we were, and we had built a gorgeous foundation of trust upon which a marriage was the next obvious building block (at least for us).  I don’t “let” my husband do anything.  He’s my partner and my best friend, and I would never have been in a relationship, let alone a marriage, with someone I didn’t trust with my heart and my life.  We both have the freedom to do really whatever it is that we want, and neither of us need to get permission from the other for anything.  Of course we check in with one another, it is only natural, given that the relationship that we have that is built on mutual respect for each other, and, I’m saying it again, complete trust.

If you want to get married, talk about it. Don’t make sneaky chicken with a secret agenda.

If you are with someone that you want to get married to, tell them. There’s no reason in this day and age to wait for someone else to propose to you without any input of your own.  I picked out my own engagement ring, but was pleasantly surprised when I received it, during a proposal that was for the most part, very traditional.  My husband was largely involved in planning our wedding, we woke up next to each other the morning of the wedding and spent almost the whole day together before the ceremony began.  Nothing in the process of becoming engaged and getting married or in our actual marriage has been lacking because we took steps that might have been slightly different than what some people think is “normal.”  We’re going on 5 years of marriage, and will even be renewing our vows this year.  He’s my favorite person in the world, my best friend, and the love of my life.  This is what is important.  Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

And don’t let anyone make you think that chicken will change the game.

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