Red Bull

Formula One -Derland: Singapore 2013

by Jamie Sanford on September 24, 2013

Click here for all Formula One-related posts on JamieSanford.com.

Be sure to check the Formula One wiki for more complete results, or visit Planet F1.

Photos are from Planet F1 unless otherwise noted.

Fernando “Eyebrows” Alonso is in a good mood, and looking cute. It was announced this week that Kimi Raikkonen will be driving next to him in the Ferrari next year.

Singapore is the only race held entirely in the dark, and it’s got lots of beautiful sights. Definitely on the list of Formula One races I want to attend.

I missed qualifying due to a DVR issue, but I heard that Sebastian Vettel went out early in the final bit of qualifying and had to wait and see if anyone surpassed his time. He still ended up in pole position, but whatever. Let’s talk about his sparkly helmet, which was really fabulous, no matter how much he isn’t my favorite.

So yes, Vettel on pole, with Nico Rosberg following, and Romain Grosjean in P3. Romain gets extra points for being red-faced like me.

The race start was pretty exciting. Alonso jumped something like 5 spots before the first turn, and Rosberg was ahead of Vettel for about half a second before Vettel went on to lead the entire rest of the race.

Talked to my brother Pete about the race, and he didn’t believe me when I told him that Vettel had already built around a 3-second lead by the end of lap 1. But he did. We barely saw Vettel because luckily, the TV people know that it is boring to watch someone just be at the front, alone.

Side note: Vettel has been getting booed at every race when he is on the podium. Apparently people do not like the domination that he has experienced in the last few years. I don’t know how to feel about it. Yes, I think having someone so clearly ahead is boring. I much prefer to watch people actually racing against one another, and competing, and not just having the fastest car and being in the front. If Vettel was fighting more for his wins, I’m sure he would not get booed as much.

Poor Mark Webber, who just wants to have fun driving a Formula One car while he still has one, had the back of his car explode out with flames during the final lap. Fernando Alonso came by and picked him up during his cooldown lap, and everyone got to get a kick out of Mark Webber waving to the fans while riding on a Ferrari. It was good tv! Naturally, the stewards got pissed and gave them both a reprimand, and since it was Webber’s third, he ended up with a grid penalty for the next race. Lame.

Then Alonso got to pick up his miniature trophy and watch Vettel get weirdly intimate with his. Stop kissing the trophy dude, it just results in images that look like this.

{ Comments on this entry are closed }

Formula One -Derland: Germany 2013

by Jamie Sanford on July 9, 2013

Click here for all Formula One-related posts on JamieSanford.com.

Be sure to check the Formula One wiki for more complete results, or visit Planet F1.

Photos are from Planet F1 unless otherwise noted.

Germany

After serious troublemaking by the tires during the race in Great Britain, Pirelli brought some kevlar to the party at the super-famous Nurburgring. New tires again in a few weeks in Hungary!

Fernando “Eyebrows” Alonso wasn’t at the race, preferring to send his evil twin again.

Felipe “Breathe-Right” Massa clearly doesn’t take tips from Alonso on eyebrow maintenance.

I added Paul di Resta back to my F1FRL fantasy team, and he managed to not make it out of the second round of qualifying. Thanks Paul.

Lewis Hamilton stuck it to Sebastian Vettel by smoking him for pole at Vettel’s home race. I love Lewis’ smirky victory face, but not more than Mark Webber‘s look.

Unfortunately for Lewis, the Red Bulls were NOT KIDDING and pummeled him back to third position right at the start of the race.

In a rare sight in Formula One, Jules Bianchi‘s car sort of exploded from the back and then was on fire while he was still in it. In his rush to get out, he forgot the E-brake and the car went rolling back onto the track with no driver.

Worse than the car fire was the hideous accident involving Mark Webber’s pitstop, showing yet again that Webber can’t catch a break. The team didn’t properly attach his rear right tire, and it went rolling away right after he pulled out of the stop. The tire caught something and flew in the air, and slammed into a cameraman, who hit the ground incredibly hard, and has broken bones. Awful, and not Webber’s fault. He managed to return to the race after getting a tire attached, and finished amazingly well from the back of the pack.

Vettel won the race, but a few more laps and he would have been in trouble, since the Lotus drivers Kimi Raikkonen and Romain Grosjean were ALL OVER HIM. It was nice to see Vettel actually work, since he tends to get in the front and then just drive leisurely around the track, which is boring. Also super close to the podium was Alonso, who had Grosjean within a second when the race ended.

Note in this picture that even during happy times with the champagne, Kimi is not impressed.

So Vettel increases his lead in the championship, which sucks, because I want it to be close! 11 races left in the season, let’s keep it exciting. I will go ahead and not be completely bitter about this one though, because it was Vettel’s home race, and he got to address the crowd in German, and he seemed so excited. I think he sometimes seems almost bored after winning, so this was a nice change.

3 weeks to Hungary, and then the summer break before Spa!

{ Comments on this entry are closed }

Formula One -Derland: Australia & Malaysia 2013

by Jamie Sanford on April 16, 2013

Click here for all Formula One-related posts on JamieSanford.com.

I totally fell off of my Formula One posts after Italy last year. I’m going to make it another goal to complete them all this year – to do so, I’m going to mostly stick to image commenting, and leave the real recaps up to the fine people that update the Formula One wiki.

Australia

All photos of the Australia race are from Planet F1. Go here to see their whole gallery and enjoy the site in general.

A new season starts with Sebastian “Team? What’s that mean?” Vettel on pole, which is standard. We did get our first glimpse of Lewis “Swag Party” Hamilton as a Mercedes driver, which I think now (a few races in), he sees as an amazing decision.

Last season troublemaker Pastor “Is Going To Run Into You” Maldonado crashed out, and called the car “undriveable.”

After a mostly unremarkable race, Kimi “Is Devoid of Emotion” Raikkonen won.

Final results were Raikkonen, Vettel, and my boy Fernando “Eyebrows” Alonso in third. Clearly Fernando had his eyebrows waxed before the grand prix.

I find it surprising that someone with such triumphant eyebrows has randomness in his facial hair. I’m sorry Fernando, I don’t think it is going to grow in.

Malaysia

All photos of the Malaysia race are from Planet F1. Go here to see their whole gallery and enjoy the site in general.

Yay! Fernando and his eyebrows celebrate his 200th race!

Fernando didn’t get too far in the race (and ruined my fantasy score) by making a really bad decision to not pit after a collision. His front wing was a mess, and soon after passing the pit entrance, it disintegrated in a spectacular fashion. Race over for Fernando.

“Oh, Jamie is going to be so pissed! I hope she forgives me.”

The race moves along well, and Mark “Who Has Absolutely No Luck” Webber is in the lead, with teammate Vettel behind him. They are both given the message to slow down, conserve fuel and tire life to get to the end of the race and earn valuable points for the team, but Vettel had other plans. In this photo, you see Vettel going around Webber, who eventually had to pull away to avoid a collision, leaving Vettel to win the race. (I have never been a big fan of Vettel, but his unsportsmanlike behavior is hideous. I’m even more grossed out by the fact that he keeps telling different versions of how he feels about the situation. Hey Sebastian – you were a douche, maybe better to not talk about it anymore.)

Webber then gives Vettel the finger, which is totally what I would have done. Where was the team radio transmission of what I am SURE was him screaming all sorts of WTF at the team?

Meanwhile, the 2 Mercedes teammates were also given orders to stay their positions and managed to do so without incident. Classy Lewis Hamilton ended up with the podium spot, and mentioned that he thought it should have been his teammate up there.

Ugh. I know that is your thing, but when you know you took the shitty road to get there, maybe try not to gloat about it?

Awkward.

So that’s all for this post. I’ll be back with comments and a bit of recap on China and Bahrain soon!

{ Comments on this entry are closed }

Formula One -derland: Belgium and Italy

by Jamie Sanford on September 20, 2012

Click here for all Formula One-related posts on JamieSanford.com.

After the brutally long break, which is just long enough to make me crazy, we got to start the season in Spa!

Belgium (Circuit de Spa-Francorchamps in Spa, Belgium)

(Photo from Planet F1 – check out their gallery here)

Way to restart the season with a big CF. (That’s clusterf*ck, if you didn’t know.) After all of the buildup and waiting during the break, Romain Grosjean of team Lotus went a little nuts during the start of the race and ended up causing a huge accident by first hitting Lewis Hamilton of McLaren Mercedes, who lost control and veered, and Grosjean’s car ended up flying over the front of Ferrari’s Fernando “Eyebrows” Alonso‘s car, which was really terrifying for everyone. The damage was a big hot mess, but luckily, everyone walked away without injury.

I’m having embedding issues but you can see a gif of the action from Alonso’s onboard camera here.

MEANWHILE, my boy Jenson Button of McLaren Mercedes had scored himself pole position, an amazing spot to be in when everything is hitting the fan behind you. The safety car was deployed for a few laps after the big crash on the first turn, and Jenson had maintained his position. Red Bull’s Sebastian Vettel avoided the melee and ended up moving into 2nd from 10th on the grid, Iceman Kimi Räikkönen was 3rd for Lotus, and making me more nervous than ever for Paul di Resta was Nico Hulkenberg, finishing 4th for Sahara Force India.

(Photo from Planet F1 – check out their gallery here)

Jenson celebrates with the team and his girlfriend Jessica Michibata, who is gorgeous, naturally. Lewis is actually half smiling in the back there, having maybe had some time to calm down from being screwed out of the race.

Italy (Autodromo Nazionale Monza in Monza, Italy)

Crazy Italian fan time!

(Photo from Planet F1 – check out their gallery here)

The Italians LOVE Formula One racing, but they love Ferrari even more. It is so enjoyable to see the fans watching, because they are not shy about their feelings and react aggressively to pretty much everything. I love fans in Monza, they make great TV.

The weekend looked really good for McLaren Mercedes with Lewis Hamilton on pole and Jenson Button right behind him. I love both British drivers, but have a bigger soft spot for Jenson and would have loved to seen him take back-to-back races after winning in Spa. Felipe “Felipe Baby” Massa qualified third, far ahead of his Ferrari teammate Eyebrows Alonso, who had a roll bar issue that put him in 10th at the start. I had high hopes too for Paul di Resta, who qualified 4th, with a grid drop to 9th because of a gearbox change. However, I was hoping the speed he demonstrated during qualifying would be helpful during the race. Meanwhile, Romain Grosjean was out on a suspension for casusing the big mess in Spa, and Pastor “Is Going To Run Into You” Maldonado of Williams (who I really hope are looking to get rid of him)was paying the price for douchiness with a 10-spot penalty for RUNNING INTO EVERYONE LIKE ALL OF THE TIME.

The race was lead almost entirely by Lewis Hamilton, who had a nice lead for the most part, even when Sergio “Checo” Perez (that’s his real nickname, I did not make that one up) of Sauber was surging ahead to catch him. Tragically, Jenson Button’s car died mid-race, and I literally had tears because I was so excited that he was going to score more points towards the championship. Naturally, Jenson got out of the car and waved to the Italian fans and was generally amazing and classy as usual. In other news, Eyebrows came from behind to wind up the race in 3rd, helped along by retirements of Jenson Button, and the 2 Red Bulls. Lewis Hamilton managed to hop over 2 drivers in the championship standings because they did not finish the race, and is now just behind Fernando Alonso.

(Photo from Planet F1 – check out their gallery here)

I was totally happy for Lewis, and definitely happy for the Italian fans who got to have at least one Ferrari driver on the podium.

Fernando stayed on the podium long after the ceremony was over, and randomly took a turn at running a TV camera. How can you say no to that bone structure and the eyebrows?

Singapore is this weekend. NIGHT RACE!

{ Comments on this entry are closed }

Formula One -derland: Germany and Hungary

by Jamie Sanford on September 16, 2012

Click here for all Formula One-related posts on JamieSanford.com.

The next two races on the calendar were Germany and Hungary.

Germany

There wasn’t a race in Hockenheimring in 2011, but I did get to experience it during my rewatch of the 2010 F1 season at the end of last year. The track is pretty amazing. Fernando “Eyebrows” Alonso qualified in pole position and almost made it boring by staying at the head of the race for nearly the entire time. Luckily, everyone behind him was still interested in racing.

(Photo from Planet F1 – check out their whole gallery here)

So behind Fernando was Jenson Button (who I am always rooting for, I love Jenson) and Sebastian Vettel, and it was getting dirty. Lewis Hamilton had fought through the race after an unfortunate puncture early on and was accused of holding up the race leaders a chance to let Jenson catch up – which McLaren obviously denied. Very close to the end of the race, Vettel decided that he didn’t actually need to be on the track and went completely off in order to pass Jenson Button, and ultimately ended up on the podium in 2nd position. I WISH I had a photo of the little chat that Jenson had with Sebastian before the podium ceremony, where he said something like “you know the stewards are reviewing that move on me, right?” I guess Vettel (as always) thought he was in the right, but ended up with a 20-second penalty that moved his result into 5th position. Jenson finished second, and Iceman Kimi Räikkönen ended up in third. I know I would have waited another 5 minutes for the podium ceremony so that the penalty could have been decided, and so Kimi could have stood on the podium instead of Vettel.

(Photo from Planet F1 – check out their whole gallery here)

The glitterbombing was awesome though.

Hungary

The Hungarian track is called the Hungaroring, which is just fun to say, so big ups to Hungary.

(Photo from Planet F1 – check out their whole gallery here)

Lewis Hamilton could feel pole approaching (or something, this is the kind of unintentionally funny stuff that comes out of the mouths of our brilliant Speed channel commentators), and managed to start the race in pole position. Romain Grosjean made a strong showing and started second on the grid, pleasing Will who has Grosjean in his F1 Fantasy Team. (I have one too, no shame.)

Lewis and the Iceman led in the race, but Kimi was unable to maintain a lead over Lewis in the end, but did manage to stay past his teammate – although the Lotus team did manage a 2-3 finish, which is great for them. Lewis scored 25 points while previous leader Eyebrows Alonso finished sixth, earning points and maintaining his lead, but certainly seeing a bit of that cushion slipping away.

(Photo from Planet F1 – check out their whole gallery here)

Lewis always gives good poses and faces when he is in victory mode. I know that a lot of people think he is a whiny bitch, but I enjoy him quite a lot. I definitely have a thing for McLaren drivers.

Naturally, I will now show you the most amazing cartoon, called Tooned, which is being released by McLaren Animation. It stars Jenson and Lewis (well, the cartoon versions, who are adorable), and shows their adventures with testing all things Formula One. Enjoy!

[youtube 0YnrrrF3TdA]

[youtube kFgjjaK3Pno]

[youtube snywz81ppvI]

[youtube B8cvPw-sJlc]

[youtube GZHMOcyU1vo]

{ Comments on this entry are closed }