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Formula One -Derland: Singapore 2014

by Jamie Sanford on September 30, 2014

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This race was super important to see how things would go with the driver’s championship. Nico Rosberg was 22 points ahead of Lewis Hamilton, and if Rosberg managed another win, Lewis would only have more work to do as the season wraps up.

Lewis wants to win though, and he managed pole position by an INSANE 3 thousands of a second. I had a good feeling about it for the race. I was also looking forward to seeing Fernando Alonso do his thing since he has a proven record of doing well in Singapore. Neither of them disappointed.

I know it’s bad to enjoy someone’s misfortune, but it did seem that Nico Rosberg was owed a DNF result as he has only had one this season, compared with 3 for his teammate. I had a feeling he was doomed when the cars pulled off of the grid for the formation lap and his car didn’t move, and ended up starting in the pit lane. He ran for 13 laps with a seriously wonky electrical system before retiring.

Meanwhile, Lewis Hamilton was on a lovely Sunday drive at the front of the pack, clearly just ready to win the race. He didn’t have work incredibly hard until after the last pit stop, when he had a few places to make up to win the race.

Classy. Nico knows that a lot of people still think he is a cheater.

Lewis wins! The 2 Red Bulls are behind him, and Daniel Ricciardo outperforms Sebastian Vettel, again.

I could not be happier for Lewis except for if he was Fernando Alonso. I think he will be amazing for the rest of the season and will take the championship.

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Formula One -Derland: Singapore 2013

by Jamie Sanford on September 24, 2013

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Be sure to check the Formula One wiki for more complete results, or visit Planet F1.

Photos are from Planet F1 unless otherwise noted.

Fernando “Eyebrows” Alonso is in a good mood, and looking cute. It was announced this week that Kimi Raikkonen will be driving next to him in the Ferrari next year.

Singapore is the only race held entirely in the dark, and it’s got lots of beautiful sights. Definitely on the list of Formula One races I want to attend.

I missed qualifying due to a DVR issue, but I heard that Sebastian Vettel went out early in the final bit of qualifying and had to wait and see if anyone surpassed his time. He still ended up in pole position, but whatever. Let’s talk about his sparkly helmet, which was really fabulous, no matter how much he isn’t my favorite.

So yes, Vettel on pole, with Nico Rosberg following, and Romain Grosjean in P3. Romain gets extra points for being red-faced like me.

The race start was pretty exciting. Alonso jumped something like 5 spots before the first turn, and Rosberg was ahead of Vettel for about half a second before Vettel went on to lead the entire rest of the race.

Talked to my brother Pete about the race, and he didn’t believe me when I told him that Vettel had already built around a 3-second lead by the end of lap 1. But he did. We barely saw Vettel because luckily, the TV people know that it is boring to watch someone just be at the front, alone.

Side note: Vettel has been getting booed at every race when he is on the podium. Apparently people do not like the domination that he has experienced in the last few years. I don’t know how to feel about it. Yes, I think having someone so clearly ahead is boring. I much prefer to watch people actually racing against one another, and competing, and not just having the fastest car and being in the front. If Vettel was fighting more for his wins, I’m sure he would not get booed as much.

Poor Mark Webber, who just wants to have fun driving a Formula One car while he still has one, had the back of his car explode out with flames during the final lap. Fernando Alonso came by and picked him up during his cooldown lap, and everyone got to get a kick out of Mark Webber waving to the fans while riding on a Ferrari. It was good tv! Naturally, the stewards got pissed and gave them both a reprimand, and since it was Webber’s third, he ended up with a grid penalty for the next race. Lame.

Then Alonso got to pick up his miniature trophy and watch Vettel get weirdly intimate with his. Stop kissing the trophy dude, it just results in images that look like this.

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Formula One -Derland: Germany 2013

by Jamie Sanford on July 9, 2013

Click here for all Formula One-related posts on JamieSanford.com.

Be sure to check the Formula One wiki for more complete results, or visit Planet F1.

Photos are from Planet F1 unless otherwise noted.

Germany

After serious troublemaking by the tires during the race in Great Britain, Pirelli brought some kevlar to the party at the super-famous Nurburgring. New tires again in a few weeks in Hungary!

Fernando “Eyebrows” Alonso wasn’t at the race, preferring to send his evil twin again.

Felipe “Breathe-Right” Massa clearly doesn’t take tips from Alonso on eyebrow maintenance.

I added Paul di Resta back to my F1FRL fantasy team, and he managed to not make it out of the second round of qualifying. Thanks Paul.

Lewis Hamilton stuck it to Sebastian Vettel by smoking him for pole at Vettel’s home race. I love Lewis’ smirky victory face, but not more than Mark Webber‘s look.

Unfortunately for Lewis, the Red Bulls were NOT KIDDING and pummeled him back to third position right at the start of the race.

In a rare sight in Formula One, Jules Bianchi‘s car sort of exploded from the back and then was on fire while he was still in it. In his rush to get out, he forgot the E-brake and the car went rolling back onto the track with no driver.

Worse than the car fire was the hideous accident involving Mark Webber’s pitstop, showing yet again that Webber can’t catch a break. The team didn’t properly attach his rear right tire, and it went rolling away right after he pulled out of the stop. The tire caught something and flew in the air, and slammed into a cameraman, who hit the ground incredibly hard, and has broken bones. Awful, and not Webber’s fault. He managed to return to the race after getting a tire attached, and finished amazingly well from the back of the pack.

Vettel won the race, but a few more laps and he would have been in trouble, since the Lotus drivers Kimi Raikkonen and Romain Grosjean were ALL OVER HIM. It was nice to see Vettel actually work, since he tends to get in the front and then just drive leisurely around the track, which is boring. Also super close to the podium was Alonso, who had Grosjean within a second when the race ended.

Note in this picture that even during happy times with the champagne, Kimi is not impressed.

So Vettel increases his lead in the championship, which sucks, because I want it to be close! 11 races left in the season, let’s keep it exciting. I will go ahead and not be completely bitter about this one though, because it was Vettel’s home race, and he got to address the crowd in German, and he seemed so excited. I think he sometimes seems almost bored after winning, so this was a nice change.

3 weeks to Hungary, and then the summer break before Spa!

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Formula One -Derland: Australia & Malaysia 2013

by Jamie Sanford on April 16, 2013

Click here for all Formula One-related posts on JamieSanford.com.

I totally fell off of my Formula One posts after Italy last year. I’m going to make it another goal to complete them all this year – to do so, I’m going to mostly stick to image commenting, and leave the real recaps up to the fine people that update the Formula One wiki.

Australia

All photos of the Australia race are from Planet F1. Go here to see their whole gallery and enjoy the site in general.

A new season starts with Sebastian “Team? What’s that mean?” Vettel on pole, which is standard. We did get our first glimpse of Lewis “Swag Party” Hamilton as a Mercedes driver, which I think now (a few races in), he sees as an amazing decision.

Last season troublemaker Pastor “Is Going To Run Into You” Maldonado crashed out, and called the car “undriveable.”

After a mostly unremarkable race, Kimi “Is Devoid of Emotion” Raikkonen won.

Final results were Raikkonen, Vettel, and my boy Fernando “Eyebrows” Alonso in third. Clearly Fernando had his eyebrows waxed before the grand prix.

I find it surprising that someone with such triumphant eyebrows has randomness in his facial hair. I’m sorry Fernando, I don’t think it is going to grow in.

Malaysia

All photos of the Malaysia race are from Planet F1. Go here to see their whole gallery and enjoy the site in general.

Yay! Fernando and his eyebrows celebrate his 200th race!

Fernando didn’t get too far in the race (and ruined my fantasy score) by making a really bad decision to not pit after a collision. His front wing was a mess, and soon after passing the pit entrance, it disintegrated in a spectacular fashion. Race over for Fernando.

“Oh, Jamie is going to be so pissed! I hope she forgives me.”

The race moves along well, and Mark “Who Has Absolutely No Luck” Webber is in the lead, with teammate Vettel behind him. They are both given the message to slow down, conserve fuel and tire life to get to the end of the race and earn valuable points for the team, but Vettel had other plans. In this photo, you see Vettel going around Webber, who eventually had to pull away to avoid a collision, leaving Vettel to win the race. (I have never been a big fan of Vettel, but his unsportsmanlike behavior is hideous. I’m even more grossed out by the fact that he keeps telling different versions of how he feels about the situation. Hey Sebastian – you were a douche, maybe better to not talk about it anymore.)

Webber then gives Vettel the finger, which is totally what I would have done. Where was the team radio transmission of what I am SURE was him screaming all sorts of WTF at the team?

Meanwhile, the 2 Mercedes teammates were also given orders to stay their positions and managed to do so without incident. Classy Lewis Hamilton ended up with the podium spot, and mentioned that he thought it should have been his teammate up there.

Ugh. I know that is your thing, but when you know you took the shitty road to get there, maybe try not to gloat about it?

Awkward.

So that’s all for this post. I’ll be back with comments and a bit of recap on China and Bahrain soon!

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Formula One -derland: Europe and Great Britain

by Jamie Sanford on September 8, 2012

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Valencia and Silverstone! I am so behind on Formula One posting.

Europe (Valencia, Spain)

Spain was exciting because it was getting to the point where SOMEONE had to be the second to win more than one race in a season. Fernando “Eyebrows” Alonso was hoping for a chance to win or at least end up on the podium at his home race, but ended up starting 11th after qualifying. I was feeling like we would see Sebastian Vettel pick up the win as he was starting from pole, but the race went a different way.

(Photos from Planet F1 – click for their full gallery)

So Vettel got off to a good start, as is normal for him, and looked to be building himself quite a lead. However, the safety car was determined to rain all over his parade. Meanwhile, Eyebrows had worked his way up from 11th and was in 3rd when the race restarted post-safety car deployment. Fernando moved into second over Romain Grosjean, and then in lap 33, Vettel’s car just seemed to shut off. (This happened to me once, it was the timing belt. Do Formula One cars even have those?) He was CLEARLY pissed, and stomped off to pout about it. Meanwhile, Eyebrows Alonso was fast on his way to winning his second race in 2012. Meanwhile, Lewis Hamilton and Iceman Kimi Räikkönen were battling for 2nd. Kimi managed to pass Lewis, and soon enough, Master D-Bag Pastor Maldonado managed to catch up with Lewis and pull a dick move that ruined his own race and ended Lewis’. Pastor finished 10th, but was downgraded to 12th after a 20-second penalty was applied for causing a collision. Keeping cool throughout the drama, Michael Schumacher ended up finishing 3rd, his first podium since 2006.

(Photos from Planet F1 – click for their full gallery)

Fernando knows which way to point the champagne.

Great Britain (Silverstone)

This race was not too long before the Olympics. I guess England decided to just get all of the rain of the year out of the way in a few weeks time, because it was hella rainy, and watching Friday practice was a joke. Even after the track dried, everything else was still a soggy mess. Like the grass.

(Photos from Planet F1 – click for their full gallery)

The race started without much drama, save for that with Paul di Resta, who suffered a rear puncture so early on that he retired after finally making it back around to the pits. Fernando Alonso held on to the lead for the majority of the race, until eventually being caught by Mark Webber, on a different tire strategy. Alonso did not put up much of a fight as he seemed to know it was a lost cause, but managed to retain 2nd place over Sebastian Vettel who finished 3rd. Pastor Maldonado ended up shooting himself in the foot again by colliding with Sergio Perez, causing Perez to have to retire, and left Maldonado well out of the points in 16th. Maldonado was fined 10,000 Euros for causing the accident with Perez. Ass.

(Photos from Planet F1 – click for their full gallery)

This happened on the podium. Lots of win for Mark Webber.

Next up, Germany and Hungary.

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