Curious Tuesday 013

by Jamie Sanford on August 17, 2010

Miss Darling has questions this week on marriage.

Let’s talk marriage!

Love & marriage, love & marriage, go together like a horse & carriage…

The wedding party.

I look slightly crazy, but this is one of my favorites from that day.

How do you feel about marriage as a concept? Realistic? Romantic? A pipe-dream?

I didn’t think about it too much until I met Will, who I knew I wanted to be with for the rest of my life pretty much as soon as we met. I think it is very realistic for many people.

2. Do you think you’ll ever want to get married?

I already did, almost 4 years ago!

3. If you did get married, would you want a big blow-out celebration or would you keep it low-key?

We went through lots of back-and-forth about planning our wedding. We were having it here in NJ, then we were thinking about having it in Florida because I grew up there, then we wanted to go to Las Vegas, and then we ended up back in New Jersey.  It was definitely the biggest party I’ve ever planned, although it was small to some people at only around 120 guests.

My next wedding will be a vow renewal on 11-11-11, which is our 5-year anniversary and is just cool.  We will be going to Las Vegas for this one – I am bouncing between trying to find something beautiful and classy and on the other end of the spectrum, finding a spectacularly cheesy chapel with Elvis performing the ceremony. I do know that I want another dress, no matter where we end up.  Also on the list? A better photographer.

4. If you are married now, how has that changed your relationship?

I didn’t think it would matter or change anything, but mostly it solidified the fact that we have created our own little family, and we are officially allowed to make that a priority.  I’m sure some people have it all figured out and are fine without being married, but it really is a big thing to legally tie yourselves together in that way and there are many traditional people still in the world that will not respect your relationship the way it should be respected until you are married.

5. If you’re married, how did you celebrate it? Knowing what you know now, would you have done it differently?

I know that what we had was smallish compared to some of the crazy weddings I’ve been to, but we still had quite the soiree. Everything was in a hotel as we had something like 90%+ of the guests coming in from out of town. We had the ceremony in a ballroom, and it was performed by one of my closest friends, who I had gotten ordained online. (It is totally legal in the state of NJ.) The ceremony was about 8-10 minutes long, and I wrote it using a book on, you guessed it, “writing your own wedding ceremony.” We had a little bit of traditional stuff, a reading from Neruda, we wrote our own vows, and ta-da! Married.  It was short and sweet and by the time it was done, everyone was able to get to the cocktail hour on time. Cocktail hour was ridiculous – 4 stations where hot food was being prepared, other food being passed by waiters, and huge displays of cheese, bread, etc. I never really saw any of it, which is too bad.  I would go back now and take pictures of my own – I had my point-and-shoot camera with me but only took one photo during the wedding.

Dark, but cute. This was at our little table.

Then we moved upstairs to the ballroom on the top floor (with a lovely view of the NY skyline), and ate more food and drank and danced and had a great time. It is a complete blur in my head, but it was really fun. The best thing about weddings is that for a couple, there is almost no other time that all of those people who have been in your life for one reason or another will ever all be in the same place again.  This is especially true for us because we both don’t live near where we grew up.

It was a beautiful day, even though the stress leading up to it was pretty ridiculous. I am looking forward to Vegas re-wedding.

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Bride and Groom Survival Guides

by Jamie Sanford on March 22, 2010

Today’s items are gifts for someone you know who is traveling down that great path towards marriage. More specifically, those who are falling into stereotypical “bride and groom” roles.  As someone who went through this process and made it out the other end, I can appreciate a guide to help you get through the little stresses and situations that present themselves during the wedding-planning process.

The Bride’s and Groom’s Survival Guides are available from Amazon.

The Bride’s Guide is $10.85 and the Groom’s Guide is $11.53, both on Amazon.  A great engagement gift!

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